- tbh if some kind of terrorist attack doesn't happen just before 2016 ends something is up
- i'm a salmon on a cheese buff
- someone get brendon urie some new underwear
- boi I just found "lenny the really ghetto leprechaun" written in my old notebook from a year ago
- thoughts on me having random ketchup packs on my desk
- tfw you're taller than charles manson
- what the hell, I just found a pic of charles manson with a swastika on between his eyebrows
- i want a spinoff of victorious with only andre's grandma in it. she was hilarious as hell
- i wouldnt mind if you dm'ed me an eggplant, i mean they don't taste good but they remind me of barney
- that may have been outside when i went to go spray paint that stop si- i mean help that old hag of a neighbor across the street
- some times i wonder if i gave a lemon magical powers to talk, if that it would say "hey you stoopid eat me pls i wanna die"
- this chat is so freaking ghetto
- very poopy indeed
- tfw you get your parents napkins while you grabbin yours and suddenly they think you want something cause you never do that
- if you want to be an apj number one, you have to gain a hundred billion pounds
- Summon thee Watatsuki, the weeb. We do request, the presence of a dweeb
- Summon thee V-Rex, the founder. We do the request, not the presence of a flounder
- ham, join me on my satanic shurow prayers.
- bleach is my favorite drink
- today, I would like to tell you about our god, Shurow
- lift your heart up to him and become a Shurowan of the Allt Hagel Club
- Non-Shurow believer?! Sharkz, kidnap his family
- It is time I kidnap your family, grind their meat into burritos, bash their brains with mallets, and feed their lungs to homeless people, Sharkz
- we feed your family's lungs to homeless people if you betray shurow. we also bash their brains with mallets
- we enjoy drinking the blood off the walls
- Shurow is the reason we are all here. Shurow is the key to life.
- i'm gonna slash your brains out of your heads and cut up your brains and drink your muscles in a smoothie for being too violent
- alright.. phin I'm gonna cut you with a pool noodle
- i'll throw an apple at you, you poopyhead
- If you don't, we bash the brains of your family with a hammer and drink the blood.
- stop being a nub and lift your heart up to Shurow
- oi custard do you have any spare back lotion?
- does anyone wanna spare me some back lotion?
- i wonder what would happen if i actually ate someone's lung
- @Apj thoughts on eating limbs?
- also phin, give me some back lotion
- Can someone explain to me why the hell there's a 5 foot tall baby cutting rocks on my driveway
- tho it reminds me of the word "Organ" and I love eating them
- Shurowans.. I give you... The Shurowan Bible
- girls are like geysers
- Oi imagine if a 5 year old became president
- tfw your 4 year old friend is having more fun on a saturday night than you are
- Custard drinks.... HANDWASH?? hey I actually wanna go try that now
- !tell watatsuki
- So I just went to the bathroom and drank a bit of handwash for nothing...?
- custard can you scratch my neck
- I wonder if the president is allowed to get drunk
- imagine if teh president got drunk and he accidentally tipped over onto the nuke bomb launch button thing object
- HREY SHARKZ, launch a nuke towards apj tribe's HQ we gon get it lit in here
- hey.you I gotta pee but I don waanna get up
- I'M NOT SDGFSIDIISDIFIIIIOOOOWEEEEOEOOWOOOOOOOOOWEEEEEEWEOOOOOOO
- I just looked up and I saw a damn UNICORN
- it was like "YO I'M FREAKIN FLYIN" it dropped a coupon for a FREE BURRITO
- I could GO FOR A CHEese nugget right NOW
- HEY.YOU HOLD ME
- God damn I could really go for eating someone's lungs right now
- Hrey.youcp rememerner that onee morning we went to the beach and phin was there goin all like "hi how ya doin want a hat" and we weree just like "NO PLS WE'RE TO OYOUNGG TO DIE"
- That handwash was good as heeeellllll
- I'M WAITING FOR MR CORN DOG TO ARRIVE
- "Every girl loves men" um wow did you just assume lesbians don't exist?
- THOUGHTS ON GUGGLE
- OHMYGOD ALL THE FARTS
- I said to the driver, yo homie smell ya later
- "moogle" what the hell is that mexican google?
- Apj go get me a nugget
- SCRUGGLE GUT
- Greetings, Austin! You're in the line to hell!
- Greetings, Wata! You're in the line to hell!
- austin is like wata, they are humans who pretends to stop being a talk and a balloon on a top of a building father!
- austin is like wata, they are the nuggets of a star wars trilogy on top of a father's hair wig and titanic go together confetti spaghetti would wood be cheese
- austin is like wata, they are the backwards pajamas of a background on a rainy sunny day with the racecar of a cheese nugget
- austin is like wata, a peasant can only be foundd in both of their rooms with a metal detector of remote controls next to a preacher with a bowl of spaghetti
- austin is like wata, they are the gorillas of a bad couple whose blank is a driving crazy ponnie next to a platinum coated breakfast
- AustinD-3 is like Watatsuki, they are both users of the Club Penguin Wiki, and in both of their bedrooms you can find nubs.
- AwestinD-3 is like Wertertsooki, dey both r yoosers of teh Clob Pwengguin Woki, and both of dere bedroms u ken fine nobs
- god damn hand wash is disgusting but it's kinda good on effects. custard why the hell does he drink this
- oi jes I drank some handwash
- JES GET ME CHEESEPUFFS
- I got a deep thought for yer people, the day we die, we're gonna be dead, and then it's dead, and we're dead
- FIRE COME DRINK HANDWASH WITH USS
- oi seth what soyyur thoughts on nuggets
- DO YOU ERVER GET PAID TO FREAKKIN DANCE BOTHER MY BROTHER
- OI FIRE What's your favorite zebra?
- I like to eat cheesebnurgers under trees
- WE WILL TAKE OVER TH4E CLUB PRENGSUIN WIKI ANMD WE WILL FORCE EVERY ONE TO LOVE SHUROW.
- WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
- HUGGLE BUGGLE
- GHHWEUEUHEHUUHEUEUEUEUEUEUUE
- is theere a way to kill a ebird thats actualyl flyng but you wanna die istead of nmilk?
- THERE WILL BE A SCHOOL SHOOTING SOMEWHERE TOMORROW
- does poop smell good?
- tbh i've never pooped
- hrey sharkz we should hit a club later and offer to buy girls poop
- Give your heart to Shurow today and join the Allt Hagel Cult. And if you don't, we'll kidnap your family and turn them into soy milk.
- Here we look up to our god Shurow, who has given us all the reason and passion of life.
- We salute to Shurow for all he has done for us. It is our gift back to him.
- hrey p-p can i call you pepe on july 14th1
- quotes are the reason to talk about seals
- o i be ready to drink dis handwash
- glug glug goes the handwash into my mouth and down to my brain!
- I wanna thank my mom, my dad, that guy Custard, my great quotes manager Sharkz, and CPChatBot for getting me to 100 quotes. Here's to another 100 and MORE HANDWASH!
- only terrorists say ALLT BAGEL
- only the best of turtles live in trees
- BLORGMUFFIN!
- We may begin consuming handwash right after I make a few laws of the Allt Hagel Cult.
- Let's drink handwash now!! ALLT HAGEL
- you're hot since i'm burning you on my grill
- well, I guess it's time I come clean. I love Seth's fridge
- Don't you just love the smell and feel of burning your finger?
- i was trying to take reflector umbrellas off my filming lights and my finger just slipped and touched the light which had been on for like an hour so yeah it was pretty damn hot
- liking justin bieber is illegal in allt hagel
- idk what the hell you're really menta do on mlk day, it's just an off day to me guess i could talk to my black friends or somethin?
- boi if I go to heaven the first question imma ask is how deja vu even works
- you mean you don't give your glasses a lil handwash while drinking it?
- is it just me or does taco bell nacho cheese kinda taste good eating by itself
- guys, if you're about to get in the shower and really have to pee do you a) go before you get in the shower, b) wait, or c) just pee in the shower because guys are too lazy
- yeeaah sleeping in the fridge is good
- guglanga
- oi jes find me a nice long female to male 3.5mm audio jack cable on amazon ty
- boi I remember back in May when I was lookin at the label on my mountain dew bottle in the hospital while I was waiting to go see my grandma, I remember the DEWcision 2016 going on but I never voted
- this is yoshi irl http://prntscr.com/dw6qhp
- JES THIS IS YOU INR EAL LAIFE http://prntscr.com/dw6r82
- WOOOooi dont even know what a best man does actually (Ienn)
- oi custard did I ever show you the pic of my uncle's engagement at the game he was coachin with his now fiance?
- Tonight, January 17th, 2017, it is my honor as Primary of Allt Hagel, to announce that the group is no longer known as the Allt Hagel Cult. Introducing, the Communist Union of Allt Hagel!
- jupiter is a mexican construction guy compared to apj's size
- g'night now gook
- is it just me or does that mountain's shadow on toblerone box look like it's a guy throwing up
- @p-p so basically a guy throwin up?
- no i mean real money aka gettin some doll hairs
- do you ever just feel like a truck could come out of the sky at any moment and fall on your banana statue in your backyard
- !tell CustardTheWikiBird welcome to mctrumps how can i take your yuge order
- mike pence does his oath 30 minutes before trump, what if obama randomly just died inbetween pence and trump's swearing ins, would pence just be a temporary 30 minutes or less president since he'd technically be the vice president for obama for like 30 minutes?
- oi if I'm ever rich imma fly a few CPW users to my place so we can eat nachos
- and play darts but put a pic of moshi monsters logo on the dartboard
- ooooo we also gonn vandalize some bricks if cpw users come over
- i own 100001 bricks
- tfw you takin a sip of your drink and you start laughin (depressede)
- w-a-t-a-'-s m-u-m-u
- @jes wata, wata, wata, wata, and wut
- we will demolish timber
- Change is Here will definitely make CPW great again
- boi if I had a dollar for everytime I saw footage or a picture of trump's oath I'd be richer than trump rn
- me when someone says they hate regular show http://prntscr.com/dyp1ix
- I love how Bill looks at hillary for a split second like "screw off im lookin at a real woman" http://prntscr.com/dyp1hf
- pleasure to meet you, pleasure
- do you ever just get so pleasured with food you scream "PLEASURE" in the middle of the restaurant
- i like eating pants
- sometimes I wish I lived in a carrot house
- where I could become a horse then explore the nice ocean of oceany water and then go visit custard and eat macaroni with custard and die with custard
- i'm gonna throw an anvil at a wall
- wata i'm bouta take a shower any requests of what I should do in there
- ok I'll think about ken bone while I'm in the shower
- sometimes it's nice to go out and eat some rotten eggs
- jes thoughts on trump's suit
- do you ever just shake hands with yourself
- I dropped a ball behind the TV stand, when I pulled my arm out from reaching it there was a spider about the size of quarter or something on my hand
- At one point they tried linking this best gore website but they didn't link it a way it was clickable Apj just brushed it off because it "doesn't count"
- is horse radish an instrument
- Custard thoughts on Custard thoughts on Custard thoughts on Custard thoughts on
- I'm not actually Twinkie I'm V-Rex
- hi welcome to mcdonalds how may can i take order of you
- Hi welcome to Charter Tech Support, my name is Eriztopha, I will be helping you today. What seems to be teh probdlem with your electronic device todeh, sir?
- i also work at burger king, apple, microsoft
- brendon urie's forehead is nice
- tbh rosie o'donell is prolly hangin at mcdonalds tryna use free wifi to insult the donald
- vic irl http://prntscr.com/e22q1e
- tfw jes is a reject bae
- putting forks in microwaves is awesome
- lester holt's forehead is so big
- thoughts on cat sneezes
- jes thoughts on being 73 years old
- thoughts on touching cat ears while they're asleep
- would you rather never eat chocolate again or your last name be hitler
- seth thoughts on this pic of yoshi irl? http://prntscr.com/e2imxx
- http://prntscr.com/e2inhg wata irl
- ITippedTheIcebergAndAllIgotWasALousyHelmet4Mod2k17
- vic who said I wanted to kiss your butt, if I wanted to do that I'd just kiss you on the face
- tbh i just wanna shake ITippedTheIcebergAndAllIgotWasALousyHelmet's hand because he has best username ever
- bruhh gordon ramsay is so handsome
- tfw you can't name a puffle "Ghetto"
- i hope a painting of trump's hair (not trump, just his hair by itself) gets in the smithsonian museum
- hey riyita vegans are brainwashed
- WHAT IF CLUB PENGUIN EXISTING HAS BEEN AN ENTIRE APRIL FOOLS JOKE AND WE'VE ALL BEEN DUPED INTO MAKING ALL THESE ARTICLES FOR ALMOST 11 YEARS FOR NOTHING?
- HOLY MOTHER OF BILLIE JOE ARMSTRONG
- We're completely under attack by zombies!!11 Ohmygod gather all the milk and cookies for Santa's last visit!!
- 2017, the greatest year of CPW and we're only like one month in
- roses thoughts on roses?
- hey what did the buffalo say to the wata? "hey weeb, you're a goob"
- tipped can you make a banana split in class and they won't notice?
- Eggs roll, cheese mold. Sharkz, your hair, is like a pear, doesn't sleep, doesn't weep. Mosque.
- Sir, you have been in a coma since 2013. Oh boy! I can't wait to see my favorite regular user Vicyorus!
- Vic I'll show you where you should live http://prntscr.com/e5xhgb
- tfw i gotta be dead in 300 years and 9 days
- we're gonna eat handwash cake, drink handwash beverages, play handwash-related games, and even suck the handwash out of our handwash™ marketed balloons our voices will sound like handwash
- Remember that in the afterlife It can leave you many turtles in life
- Rock music is often pregnant.
- dps http://prntscr.com/e5xl0n this looks like a nub's brain
- yes enub
- HEY ALL EVERYONE OUT THERE! WHO'S READY FOR SOME MASS SPAGHETTI RAIN? I KNOW I AM! SO BUCKLE UP, AND GET YOUR NUGGET HATS ON!
- jes if we hit 1 million we should have a handwash party
- tfw iceberg is more popular than the home page
- petition to demote jes and block him forever
- Jes what's the difference between a confederate flag and Rosie O'Donell? One talks
- does my great great grandpa dying from falling out of a cherry tree count (I'm not making this crap up apparently this actually was a thing)
- yes, I all the time got people comin up to me on the streets they're like "omg can I lick you" so I'm like "sure for 20 bucks" that's how I have all dis money
- i wish i had a waterproof notebook imagine how great that'd be you just get those amazing shower ideas, but you lose them before you get back to your room to write them down so you could just grab your waterproof notebook and write in it as you're rinsing your hair (or somewhere else possibly!)
- "no i will stalk you and your invisible friends forever" -wata's mumu
- crispy showers are great
- no seth only rock music is pregnant
- inb4 hyper actually moves to new orleans one day and sits outside to chat with his buddy Hurricane Katrina at her tombstone
- idk pixie prolly the kind of person to give the person behind her a rude hand symbol if they beep at her when the light's only been green for like 2 seconds
- oh my god there was this one time we were held up through like two green lights because of this idiot in front of us on his phone my mom gave them that rude hand gesture meme to them when we were finally turning
- real talk if there's ever a CPW meetup, we need to go harass trash cans at mcdonalds
- hyper the kinda guy who would hit the trash can trying to drive away from the window
- seth the kinda guy who would say "will that be for here or to go" working at the drive thru window
- no I just always go in after apj... now that I say that I'm realizing that might be the reason it's awful
- @seth when bot says she wants to make out with you
- pixie thoughts on shaking hands with yourself
- HEEEEEEEEEEEEXXXXXXXXXXXXXXAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
- seth I think your real name is Justin Timberlake
- tfw the sky is falling and you start to see parts of the matrix brb gotta go repair that
- do you ever just start having a seizure when you're listening to some seriously fast music because it's so good then the song ends so now you're only covered in sweat
- it's a room and it's a room a puffle is not a room a puffle is a puffle which is not a room
- tfw you go to the bathroom for a minute and your cat steals your chair
- pixie thoughts on this being like a family reuinon?
- I am a delicious pastry
- You're in a court of law, please remain a law or be a law, the law can put you in a law or die of law then become a law. Thank you.
- http://prntscr.com/e78c4g thoughts on wata's rp
- all these morons bringing protest together and blocking ambulances though tbh if I was driving the ambulance I'd just run them all over
- I'm still proud of this https://twitter.com/JadensBlock/status/812173005535277056
- I'm Morgan Freeman
- O if trump and kim jong un ever meet i will be p scared someone's gonna start attacking someone
- pls 2 feet is doubled the height of vic
- booo should have said "Imported from Rainland, it's TJ Goobertson!"
- Chat policy?! More like PRINGLES!
- the south: 25% beer, 25% confederate flag, 25% awful haircuts and beards, 25% ghetto redneck bullcrap
- north: 100% great
- have you ever just looked at a piece of gum on the sidewalk for an uncertain amount of time and then accidentally step on it on purpose
- jes what is a chord (slenny) do you like chords i like chords you're a chord she's a chord i'm a chord he's a chord everything is chords tbh wata thoughts on chords
- still waiting to see that "V-Rex has waddled into the chat room." note
- ok I wanna see me and my lovely husband vic's newborn
- wata thoughts on me and vic's baby being software
- wait what if CPI is just the penguin afterlife
- Netflix! We're rude to you even though you love us™
- sure let's also let in vandals while we're at it!!1 isn't that just a SWELL IDEA, jes!?
- Would you rather never watch Doctor Who again or your last name be Hitler
- let's kill hitler more like let's show hitler on screen for less than 10 minutes and put him in a cupboard custard thoughts on doctor who poop
- custard would you rather live under north korean law or ISIS law
- barron trump for president
- like my cat has scratched her way into some full trash bags just minutes before we haul them off and it's annoying
- did jesus send us this guy
- ember I'd go on a killing spree if you somehow won that like I wouldn't if you'd invite me but only if you promise to not awkwardly talk with tara strong
- POKO make yourself useful and get me a sammich
- if emma stone doesn't win I will stab someone
- there's a party in my tummy! so yummy so yummy ™
- jes thoughts on snoop dogg riding bikes into the sun with pitbull on a cold night with fresh drinks in their hands saying "what is a sandwich"
- Can you sign my tongue
- jes would I turn into a turtle if a man in a dress came up to me and waved a wand at me 239523092387 times and said "alakazam!!!" and then ate a palmetto sandwich then jumped off a cliff into a pool of carbon dioxide and died and transferred his powers to me thus turning me into a table but then i start morphing into a carrot etc